I’ve become afraid to initiate sex

I’ve been wanting to explore sacred sex for a couple of years now. I am a 37 y/o male in excellent physical health. My current relationship has been turbulent at times partly due to personality conflicts and also my impatience/over reaction to the dreaded premature ejaculation. I am vasectomized and thought that this was the cause. For over 1 year I have not been able to have intercourse for more than 1 minute give or take ( 2 seconds is my record!). This became worse when I started Kegel exercises.

We have had terrific sex but I seem to be experiencing some difficulties now.

I have discontinued Kegels. I am very confused about esoteric sexual practices. I have read a lot of Mantak Chia material and find it confusing to understand. It seems that I’m caught in a cycle of sexual scarcity and naturally the more frustrated and panicky I become the more my partner is turned off altogether.  I’ve become afraid to initiate sex.

I don’t know how to begin. We are both discouraged, I am frustrated and irritable all the time because I don’t feel like a good lover and we are avoiding sex most of the time because it causes a lot of drama. Currently we are considering splitting up after 3 years. I feel very sad. I am however absolutely fascinated by tantric sex and desire to be a lifelong student of this way of connecting. I need to know that this ejaculation issue is resolvable with some techniques. I have absolutely no problem getting an erection, it’s just too sensitive and engorged with huge amounts of precum. How do I move that energy around without exploding? I’ve tried a lot of things but inevitably am trumped by the all-powerful Vagina every time. I am no match for her power.

Al I had read that you too had a vasectomy. Did it affect your ejaculation control or your prostate?

Any suggestions would be great. I really admire what you 2 do for people and each other. I hope to be so lucky some day in such a partnership.

ANSWER

Your situation is very serious if you are considering separation, and lasting only a few seconds before ejaculation must be quite frustrating for you and your partner, not to mention how hard it is on a man’s self-esteem.

First, the vasectomy is not an issue, although you might have made some assumptions that have turned into beliefs now lodged in your subconscious about this that are complicating the problem. Such contents of the subconscious can be removed. We can help you do that either at a workshop or during telephone coaching.

We have helped many men overcome premature ejaculation. We can train you to make ejaculation completely voluntary.

You must learn to move the hot sexual energy up away from the prostate. There are many methods to do that.

You say when you started doing Kegels it made your situation worse. I suspect that was because you were not doing them correctly (it is not about strength, no about how hard you squeeze, but rather squeezing in the right way. Also, you may not have persisted in your practice long enough.

We can also help you de-mystify the practices taught by Mantak Chia. Here is what he said on the cover of our first published book, Soul Sex: Tantra for Two.

“The core of Tantra and Tao acknowledge that through sexual love the relationship between man and woman can support the two of them on their return to the light. Copeland and Link present this work with enthusiasm and compassion. They represent the new generation of spiritual sexuality work that will give realistic support to sincere, dedicated couples.”

Here are some options for you to choose from, to get the help you need.

Free Articles by Al Link and Pala Copeland

Ejaculation Mastery

Voluntary Ejaculation

Voluntary Ejaculation and Male Sexual Mastery eBook by Al Link and Pala Copeland

Penis Strengthening and Ejaculation Mastery Video by Loren Johnson

TANTRIC YOGA & SEXUAL KUNG FU FOR MEN

Workshops with Al Link and Pala Copeland

Introduction to Tantra Weekend (With 3 Couples)

Private Session (Weekend or Middle of the Week)

Ejaculation Training Device  (The High Tech – High Touch Solution!)

Another option is to do telephone coaching.

My recommendation, what I would do if I were in your situation, take the private weekend. We can devote our complete attention to you, and take as long as necessary to help you deal with your particular challenges and needs. I am confident we can help you overcome this issue with a private session.

Call me toll free if you want to discuss these options: 1-800-684-5308

All good things,

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